Sunday, October 21, 2012


My dad died last year & I made horrible hospital decisions for him causing him pain, discomfort & death while thinking I was doing my best to save him. After that, my mother moved in with me. She is very unhappy & aided in ruining my 15 yr marriage.
My beloved pets got mauled by wild animals, hit by cars. I saw & had to handle & cope with one thing after the next. I almost fell in love again & it just ended yesterday. I give & give but no one is there when I need them.
I understand my life can be manipulated by how I perceive it, how I act upon how I think about it. But my memories of the losses & pain my loved ones endured is haunting me. I can avoid negative thoughts but it suppresses my pain that overwhelms me in tears. I'm not sure I can take many more awful things happening. I'm trying to be strong but I can't hold up much longer.

I wanted to respond to this readers comments because there seemed to be some urgency in the need to understand things that were happening in his/her life.
Everyone has bad things happen in their lives from time to time, and I hate to say it but "That's Life". There is no reality system anywhere in any universe, no matter how advanced, where the inhabitants do not experience challenges. Challenges and the creativity that results in rising above those challenges are the real impetus underlying life itself.

The real challenge is in learning how to understand and react to bad events, learning why they happen and what you have the power to change. You have the power over your life. In the same way, on levels that are sometimes difficult to understand, so do others have control or lack of control over their own lives. You create all aspects of your life, and although your life experience interconnects with everyone else's life experience on your planet, you have no obligation to participate in events that do not fit your purposes. No one is at the mercy of another person's beliefs and actions unless they consciously acquiesce to the others person's will.

You cannot project your beliefs on another person and inflict harm unless the other person is a willing participant, since the other person has freedom of choice and can withdraw from any event at any time if it does not suit their needs and purposes.

I am well aware that it may seem that the other person is physically helpless. Some persons may appear helpless to resist a detrimental action thrust upon them, but that is an exterior perception only, and all events are born first in an interior reality where everyone is on an equal psyhological footing.

Your father would not have died had he not been ready and prepared to die. People choose when to be born, they also choose their parents, their children, their environment, and to some extent, their future living conditions and overall context of their lives, and more importantly, no one dies who is not ready to die.

When a person sees nothing to be gained by continuing their life, they will unconsciously select a time, place and nature of their death. What I mean by that is, some may choose a passive death, undergoing a lingering, debilitating illness and gently leave their corporal physical body in their sleep. Others of a more adventurous spirit may choose to leave this life in a sudden burst of energy as in a plane crash, a flood or tornado. 

Your father had plenty of time to consider and alter or cancel the circumstances of his death, even though to you, feeling guilt may not be able to grasp the inner motivations of a dying person. I am not saying that people consciously know the time, place and nature of their death, but that they UNCONSCIOULY know and have the power to change even their own death circumstances.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own actions. Sorrow and guilt are natural expressions of feelings unique to the human species, but guilt allowed to linger and become ingrained and fester is un-natural and can be destructive.

I realize this is hard to fathom, but if the death event were not meant to happen as it did, or your father consciously made a different choice, it would not have happened. Energy attractions would have turned into repulsions and the possible eventuality of your father's death would have fallen apart and been settled into another probable reality.

Animals sense the feelings and emotions of their owners and a positive or negative atmosphere that permeates the home environment will be picked up by the animals, and especially in sensing negativity, they will sometimes purposely place their lives in jeopardy in order to withdraw from the emotional negativity, sometimes resulting in their death. Animals' sense when they have become a burden to their owners and will take measures to exit and alleviate the situation.

Animals have a deeper appreciation of the continuity of life and death to an animal is different than it is to a human. Animals can quite easily follow the transition from life to death, and death to a new life, something humans have trouble doing.

You sound like a loving, caring person. You cannot rely on another to solve your problems. If you expect others to be there for you, the solution is simple, "Be there for others" and the situation will take care of itself.

Regarding lost love; if you do not find qualities within yourself to love, why would you expect others to find you loveable? Love yourself, as you would expect others to love you and get out of the way!

It does you no good to purposely eliminate negative thoughts if you have not yet dismissed the guilt and sorrow. Emotions are there to be expressed. When you suppress your emotions and feelings, holding them inside, you create blockages that will have to be released in un-natural ways at some time in the future, perhaps in an emotional explosion that will be much more devastating than getting the hurt and sorrow out now.

Shout, yell, scream if you must or beat up a pillow, but it is imperative that you release your emotions before they cause larger problems, do not attempt to hide them and hold them inside.

You could say that you must choose a controlled explosion rather than an uncontrolled explosion that may get out of hand in the future. Never deny your emotions, and never be ashamed of your feelings since they are a natural aspect of being.

DO NOT INADVERTANTLY PUNISH YOURSELF through your beliefs, since punishment is only a reality that you believe in. "All That Is" punishes no one, so why would you punish yourself? The pain and losses that your loved ones endured cannot be minimized as if they didn't exist, but you should understand, once again, that no one participates in an event that does not choose to participate, so I can assure you that the people that you cared about still care for you, and were, on an unconscious level, quite aware of their ability to bow out of any event that you may think that you alone caused. Death is a voluntary thing, but so is life.

You do not have that kind of power over others. Period!

Along the same train of thought, it's like the old saying "It Takes Two To Tango". Nothing happens that is not supposed to happen, meaning, on deeper levels, nothing happens to anyone that they are not in some way unconsciously aware of in advance of the coming event. It takes the co-operation of two people to create any event including two people.

In much the same way, no one is present and experiences a hurricane that does not on an unconscious level, know about the pending natural event in advance. Those who choose not to participate will find reasons to leave the area and others who are ready for a great energy rich battle with the immense power of nature found inherent in a hurricane will stay and battle for survival, and surviving, will emerge with a sense of renewal and surge of new found energy and new purpose for living.
Does that make sense on a conscious level? Probably not.

The animals sense in advance when an earthquake is going to occur and leave the area. Their psychic connection with the environment and future disasters is closer to the surface of their consciousness than humans. Humans have the same abilities that have gone underground, but are still latent within the human species as much as within the animals.

Finally, you must take responsibility for your life, its failures and its successes and where you fall short, you cannot shirk your responsibility and blame others. Look to the areas of your life where you are successful, even if it is only in one small area. Examine your beliefs in that area and try and reproduce that kind of belief in other areas where you have not been so successful. If you cannot find worth in yourself, then others will be hard pressed to see worth in you.

What you believe, you will become; thoughts follow beliefs and not the other way around.
You must let the negative thoughts come to the surface and get them out in daylight and they will eventually diminish and disappear. The physical reality system is a beginning world for learning personalities, so there will be mistakes, there will be problems and disasters, but that is all factored in and you will learn from the experience. Mankind has frailties and deficiencies, but they were never supposed to be permanent, and you were meant to learn from your experiences, grow and move on.
Remember the one great law that permeates the universe:


Translated, what lingers in your thoughts will become real in your three dimensional world and be experienced as future objects and events, for better or worse. There is no judgment of bad or good thrust upon you by any outside agency, so why would you continue to punish yourself over the past. Your point of power is in the PRESENT, and any changes in your life must originate in the NOW. It is your responsibility to take ownership of the past and change it. Consciousness knows no limitations, so why should you?

No one is unlucky, jinxed or cursed, although it may seem that way at times. Your world, your personal environment, your problems, your triumphs and your life are "results" of your mental disposition, your thoughts, emotions and expectations solidified into hard, solid three dimensional experience.

 There is NO such thing as pre-destination and no future event is bound to happen, or written in any so-called book of life. The only book of life rests within your mind and it is open to change. All reality emerges from the personal psyche, and what emerges from your psyche is yours to change. There is only one way to change your life, and that is to change how you think about it.
The universe began with a First Thought.

If you have questions, please submit them using the "Comments" link below. I will attempt to answer those that pertain to others interests within the limitations of my knowledge. Otherwise I will answer them likewise in the comments section.



Anonymous said...

i have been reading your site for the last one month.and i can surely say that whatever happened in my life i thought it to happen no matter how insignificant thought it more thing i would like to share is that i frequently dream of dead friends and relatives no matter how near or far they were,of flying in air of seeing beautiful but scary scenes in the sky ,of places familiar but never visited in this lifetime.i have recieved almost every answer on your site. but i want to know that can we become more psychically advanced by meditation and if yes then how to mwditate?

W. Allan said...

Dear Anonymous,
If you frequently dream of dead friends, maybe you are actually making contact with them. They are not dead you know, they have simply vacated their physical body and are quite alive.
You cannot fly in the physical world, but flying is normal in the dream world as you are learning. In some cases your consciousness leaves the physical body during sleep and can travel to actual real places.
You can meditate till the cows come home and you will not get any smarter. Knowledge is attained by study in this world or any other.
You can gain knowledge by studying material such as you will find on this site and others.
You have intellectual knowledge which comes from the physical world and you have intuitional knowledge and abilities that comes from the inner universe. Both kinds of knowledge are necessary to make up a complete, well rounded, evolving personality. Try for both.